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worm-suggestion:

ensignro:

if you don’t support pebbles the lesbian budgie and her giant wife dni

Bird can grow to any size if they live long enough… And most are GAY

(via lesbianbarb)

discgirl:

if you refer to cum as “seed” you need to go to jail like immediately

glumshoe:

adragon-slayer:

glumshoe:

be-our-221b-guest:

glumshoe:

in 2011 my friend was playing with my hair and I joked that my deactivation switch was hidden on my scalp and we both laughed

a few moments later, he stroked the back of my head and I only managed to say “wait—“ before literally passing out and collapsing to the floor

whAT HAPPENED

[shrug]

My nervous system is kind of a bastard and sometimes likes to shut down without warning in response to certain kinds of stimuli - to go into some kind of emergency survival mode by helpfully diverting blood from my brain. Cool? Thanks?

I suspect it’s more physically hardwired than psychological - I didn’t know I was afraid of needles until a few years ago because I didn’t feel fear in response to them… I just got fun dramatic physical responses for no apparent reason without experiencing a sense of dread or anxiety.

Anyway I guess now any kind of “sharp” physical sensation, like needles or a hair being snagged too close to my spinal cord, has a chance of registering as life threatening emergency: go directly to unconsciousness do not stop do not collect $200.

Oh so you’re who they based the guy in ratatouille on

oh my god

(via xeduo)

leviathan-supersystem:

thepeacockangel:

Stuff you say to dogs sounds super weird if you say man instead of boy…

[[crouches down and looks a beagle dead in the eye]]

“you’re a good man”

(via xeduo)

definitelynotclayface:

a-timeless-classic:

slavery:

Not enough people named WOLFGANG these days smh what’s with that

I had an uncle named Wolfgang but he’s a goat does that count

(via xeduo)

broliloquy:

writterings:

i was sitting with a bunch of cis people at lunch who think i’m cis and they literally had an entire conversation on how “nowadays you can’t tell who’s transgender” while i there wearing a trans pride flag t-shirt

(via umblrgumblr)

toukos:

do u ever wonder how many of ur followers live near u

(via 1o9)

jitterati:

jitterati:

womanhood and having a voyeuristic relationship with your own pain

“am i suffering beautifully?” “is my agony lovable?”

(via practicalmagic1998)